dreams..

i juz woke up from a dream.. i dunno if its considered a nightmare.. i dreamt that i was doing my internship in a mental hospital. somehow it ended up i was accused of theft and i was bullied by everyone, including Bernard.. once when i was shitting in the loo, someone juz opened the door and made fun of me.. i got real mad and i fought back, punching the guy in the face.. this was the first time in my life i really fight with someone..

after that i had to walk past a crowd and everyone was looking at me.. tears were dripping.. T came along and i juz hugged her and cry.. den we reached somewhere where there's a mat on the ground and i juz collapsed and cry.. S came and sit beside me while T went to buy tissue for me.. i woke up at this point of time and there was slight tears in my eyes..

i have such weird dreams at times and i think its so fascinating.. cuz dreams are supposed to tell us wat we're thinking of subconciously.. this dream is weird cuz i dun normally fight with people.. and i wun ever cry in front of people.. esp gals.. and e one i like.. and why did T appear in the picture..

the only possible thing is that i'm actually too stressed these days.. until the extent i feel like crying.. but dun worry folks, my depression's more or less gone.. maybe juz studying stress..

past week

well, everythings pretty fine this week, though i think i flunk my fluids quiz.. damn.. went Bishan mrt depot to take some pics for my FYP on wednesday afternoon.. had lunch at Junction 8 alone, but its so much better than having sch food or even JP food..

on thursday, was rushing some fyp stuff in LWN library when i discover that there's this damn disgusting guy sitting beside me who's been viewing some gay profiles for the whole 1 hr i was there.. if not for the fact there are no other vacant coms available, i would have moved somewhere else.. this gay kept looking at the profiles of guys and nude pictures of them..WTF.. its bad enough he's gay, and he still has the cheek to view the pictures so openly where everyone who walked past can see.. damn disgusting.. besides viewing the pics, he's been cutting them and editing them with either paint or dunno wat and saving them down.. doing this for 1 whole hr at least (cuz i left after 1 hr).. WTF!!! below are some pics of the guy and wats he's been viewing.. wonder if anyone of you knows him... -_-






















anyway, enough of that er xin guy.. friday night was fun as the few of us went Boon Lay market for dinner.. Geok Sim was so happy that she was smiling all the time while having her food.. and i realized that she and that pig have really quite a big appetite.. sometime after dinner we played mahjong! me Alfred tong xue and that pig.. didn't play money cuz that pig dun really know how to play.. but it was fun as its been quite a long time since i last played mahjong..

ordered McDonald's breakfast delivery after that and we watched "The Maid" while eating.. hall life is fun.. hahaa.. but i can only afford to enjoy cuz its a friday night and i really needa destress abit..

didn't really study this weekend and i think its time for me to mug real hard.. bye guys..

its been about 1 week since i last wrote something.. well, nothing much happened.. tuesday was the mid-autmn festival celebration at the comms hall, wednesday had the first ihg bball training for this year and thursday was our block bbq..

went JP to buy some stuff for X-Plat on Friday night.. and we (as in me, Geok Sim n Karen) stayed till 3 plus to paint our team t-shirt.. actually Geok Sim was the one doing most, if not all of the painting.. the other 2 members Alfred n Leon, had their own stuff to do.. actually i'm supposed to study too, but i really need a break..

X-Plat yesterday was fun.. our team was team A and we were the first team to play.. We won our first game, but lost the second.. and we got knocked out.. nonetheless i think my team is actually v good and i love my team..



whole lot of us went to watch "Death Note" after the not-so-nice dunno-wat porridge steamboat at Ang Mo Kio.. the show was quite nice.. the kinda show that i like.. where some genius started commiting crimes and another genius tries to hunt him down.. anyway i like the "L" in the show.. though he's abit weird, aloof, looks like some drug addict or watever, i prefer him to "Kira".. at least he's the good guy.. and i think he's very 'seh'.. shall not comment too much on the show in case some of you still haven watch the show..

exams coming in a month's time and i really should get busy.. i realized that my depression may have worsen and i decided to cut down on coffee cuz too much caffeine can contribute to depression.. then i switched to alcohol.. -_-

not that i really drink.. tuesday night tried to get myself drunk with a can of beer.. erm.. root beer.. wednesday night had 2.5 cans of beer.. tried to get myself drunk but the more i drink the more sober i got.. well, things improved quite abit this week and i shld feel happy.. but somehow i still feel down sometimes..

well i dreamt of someone again last night.. there's a chinese saying that you'll dream at night what you've been thinking of in the day.. so have i been thinking of that someone subconciously all this while? i really dunno..
things are not going on that well but i'll try my best to fight through this period.. though sometimes i really need the extra strength to carry on..

1 thing i learnt is that sometimes when you do not wish to hurt someone, you'll end up hurting him or her even more.. well i did exactly the same thing to someone before.. now i understand how she feels..

well, i'm a stubborn guy and once i've decided on something i will not give up.. no matter how tough it is i will carry on..

i know that you're having a hard time too.. juz wanna say "jiayou jiayou jiayou!"..

issit really that important? i think my answer is "yes"..

made a very important decision on Monday.. i decided not to go for the "Work and Travel USA".. mainly because they want us to make a decision by Friday and i am not prepared to do so.. 2 quizzes on Thursday, design project and FYP stuff.. i really dun have the time to go through evrything and make a decision so fast..

its already my last year in NTU and i really wanted to go.. but haizz.. no one will understand what i'm thinking.. the fact that i went for the talk shows that i'm really interested ok.. i dun even remember the last time i went for a talk..

anyway, things went on rather smoothly for the week.. as in i got 70% for my 4004 quiz and the hp803 quiz was like damn easy..

went to be basketball official at Bedok CC on Saturday.. extra income thanks to Alan and Victor.. need the money to pay back Sylvia.. still owes her $100+ -_-"
all thanks to Yang that i had to be the referee.. second time be referee.. 1st time was during ibg.. but i was the 2nd referee then.. din really blow the whistle much.. and this time i was the only referee.. stressed..

since i cannot concentrate and study.. i decided to go sleep.. goodnight everyone..